Last week I addressed what a man wants and needs from a woman, it is only fair that we also look at what a woman wants and needs from her man.
Women are drawn to men initially based on attraction. If “the chemistry” isn’t there nothing will be happening. As women we think okay he looks good but can he carry on an intelligent conversation? Do I feel energized and uplifted when I talk to him? Do I feel special when I am with him? For women those basic qualities help to lay the foundation to form a deeper connection and a relationship.
A woman needs to feel safe and protected in a relationship. We love to share our heart, our needs, talk about how our day went, frankly we love to talk. That also means we love to share our feelings. We don’t want a partner to complete us, we want a partner to accept us completely.
Women want to take action, figure out what is wrong and come up with a fix for the problem in order for things to get better. It is the nurturer in us to feel the need to take care of things. Our definition of provision is different, it is more on an emotional level. We want our partner to show awareness of our emotions and needs and respond to them.
A woman desires a man who can be vulnerable with her and not shut down. When a man shuts down as women we hear nothing, we have no idea what you are thinking. At that point we try to analyze, guess and read between the lines. Learn to meet your partner half way. Try communicating before you shut down. You might want to say something like, “I love you but I need some time alone to think. Let’s talk about this in two hours and work through it.” It will mean a lot to her and she won’t feel as if she has to scream to get your attention.
As women stability is a must. We need emotional , economical, and relational stability. Relational stability means a woman can count on her partner to be predictable and reliable. It’s important to feel our partner has our back and will be there when we need him.
Equality is also important for women in a relationship. I was speaking with a friend last week and we were discussing this very issue. For years women were seen as unequal to men in many ways. Now women want to be seen as equal partners and not compete with men for dominance. Don’t get it twisted, our desire is not to control you. We simply want to walk beside you not behind you.
Have you ever been in a conversation and the other person is looking at their cell phone? Being emotionally present when having a conversation with your partner shows respect and that you can be focused on her when she needs you. When we feel heard we feel that we matter.
Last but not least we want a good man. Now what does that mean? Good men make good choices. They are kind, humble, sensitive, gentle, courageous, just to name a few things. In my opinion what makes a good man is when he can admit when he is wrong, and do the work to change when things need to be changed.
A woman doesn’t want a perfect man, we all know that is not realistic. What we do want is a man who can be transparent, authentic, honest, and real with us. Someone we can call our best friend in the good times and the bad. We need to know we can trust you.
Relationships are never easy, but being aware of what we need and want in a relationship is key. That goes for both men and women. Communication is so important, if you don’t have that, you aren’t likely to have a lasting, healthy relationship.
Its not about changing anyone, its about working together to be in tune with each others needs. Being there for each other, to develop a loving, healthy relationship that will last through the years.
