The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate written by Gary Chapman, a book published in 1992. In the book, Mr. Chapman describes the five love languages. They are as follows.
- Physical Touch
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
The premise of the book is we have different ways we express and experience love with our partners. Not knowing how our partner expresses and experiences love can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. When two people in a relationship have an understanding, of each other’s love language it leads to harmony, peace, and joy.
Currently, I am not in a relationship and as yet have the need to test this theory. However, over the last two years I have been exploring ways to love myself. As the old adage goes, if you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you. I must say learning who you really are, experiencing healing, and coming to love yourself is not an easy task. Without a doubt it is a very rewarding one.
So today let us look at the five love languages and how you may be able to use them for self-care and self-love.
- Physical touch
If your love language is physical touch, as is mine, you feel better taking care of yourself physically. Booking a massage, walking in the woods, or along a body of water, taking a long bath, or a mani-pedi is relaxing for me. For instance, walking in a wooded area and sitting near a lake or pond brings me peace, I feel grounded, and calm.
2. Words of affirmation
Along my self-love journey, I developed a routine of saying daily affirmations. For instance, I would write them down in my journal and repeat them every morning. One of my most loved mantras is “Everything I need is coming to me in perfect timing”. Another is “I am worthy” or “To love ones-self is the beginning of a lifelong romance”. There are so many, such as “I am” and “You are beautiful”. “You are worthy”. Journaling and saying affirmations are both great ways to feel better and are healing as well.
3. Acts of service
By Chapman’s definition acts of service means doing things to ease your partner’s burdens. Asking what you can do to help? I had to ease up on this one when it came to myself. My nature is to help others and be available for others when I need to care for my own needs. Of course, along my healing journey, I came to realize being involved in others’ issues was a way to deflect my own. Today my act of service for myself is to take time out and do absolutely nothing.
4. Receiving gifts
Applying this self-love language is about doing something special for you. Shopping comes to mind, lol. I have learned to rein that in, although I do splurge every now and then. I have rewarded myself in other ways, some future plans required me to take a class. The class will enable me to expand my knowledge and skills to move forward.
5. Quality time
At the ripe young age of 72, I find this self-love language to be my favorite. I have come to cherish my me time, I enjoy curling up on the couch with a good book. In the good weather months, I drive up to Akron, Cleveland, or down to Columbus, to treat myself to a great meal or visit friends and family. Putting Big Bertha, my vehicle on the road with my music blasting energizes me. I have learned to take time for me, to do what I want to do, no longer the yes man. My life is evolving into a better, healthier me.
Traveling this journey of life for certain has many ups and downs, but when you come to love yourself and be yourself it is so rewarding. Explore yourself and discover your self-love language. More importantly, the lesson is to learn from all your experiences, the good, bad, and the ugly! Keep on pushing and never stop learning.
Until next time,
Love, Peace, and Blessings💖
