Rage is prominent in our world today; you only have to turn to the internet or the nightly news to witness grown people acting in childish ways, shouting matches, fights, or worse gun violence. In the present day, some of us take out on others our frustration at not being able to escape the feeling of rage even in small interactions. More often than not we’re mad at ourselves than others.

Anger in and of itself is not a bad emotion, how you handle your anger is the key. When channeled into change, anger can be a useful tool. When you have no outlet anger turns into resentment that has the potential to cause turmoil. The underlying emotion beneath anger is pain, and instead of dealing with that pain, blame is often placed on others, and presents itself as anger.

Have you ever told someone “you made me mad?” If we took the time to identify the pain’s underlying source, we would be in a much better place. Unaddressed anger turns into resentment. We can choose to let go of that resentment and move on with our lives or as happens in most cases, hang onto it.

Hanging onto resentment in our hearts serves us in no way. Successfully letting go of resentful feelings can be difficult, because in doing so we are forced to mentally and emotionally confront the source of our anger. When we stop assigning blame, we realize that our need to hold something or someone responsible for our feelings has harmed us. Instead of coping with our hurt, we hold onto it tightly. To release resentment, we need to shift our attention from those we blame to ourselves by thinking of our own needs.

When a friend betrays a promised trust, resentment erases the sense of companionship. However, resentment dissipates unless it is constantly fed by anger. After a while, one sees that resenting someone for an uncomfortable situation is less helpful than actually examining how the situation came to be in the first place.

It happened, rather intentional or unintentional, and the one thing I have come to understand is you cannot control everything or everyone in your life. Having a bad day at work and coming home to scream at your spouse, or kick the dog, resolves nothing. Hurt is hurt no matter what the cause, but we can stop the pain.

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. – Aristotle

So, the question is how do we effectively manage our anger? Talking things over with a trusted friend to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head so you can work through them is helpful. Talking with a therapist is helpful as they can help you get to the root cause of your pain. Physical activity like running, working out at the gym, or even beating up your pillow (yep it works), helps to release pain and resentment. I manage my anger (pain), by journaling, meditating, and self-reflection. Another technique I utilize is to write down on a sheet of paper what I am feeling, I then burn the paper as a form of release. It took me a while to be able to utilize these techniques, but I have found them to be effective. Holding on to your anger and resentment can affect both your emotional and physical health.

Free of resentment, you have more energy and attention to devote to personal development. The bottom line is, let that shite go! Take back your power, regain your compassion, honesty, and learn to forgive. Let down the walls built to contain your anger, demolish them, so unconditional acceptance, joy, and blessings can enter your life.

Until next time,

Peace, Love, and Blessings💖